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It’s just over two weeks since I last blogged. I did set myself the target of blogging about once a week, so the reasons for not doing it have been difficult for me to get to grips with. I think part of the reason is physical. I have an old shoulder injury that has always bothered me when working at an easel. After finally being referred for an MRI scan I had high hopes that the NHS would find a cure to free me from pain.

It is possible to think into a dark place, light hidden in clouds, a battle to move forward

It is possible to think into a dark place, light hidden in clouds, a battle to move forward

However the consultant who saw me had not been sent the scan by my doctor and so after a lot of toing and froing I have now to wait until late September before having another consultancy. I think this has caused some depression and made it difficult to focus on working, especially when the painting has reached a difficult transition point. Short-hand I suppose for maybe it’s not working!

A glimmer of light can be just enough to follow to find a way back

A glimmer of light can be just enough to follow to find a way back

I also finally set up my second ‘print’ studio with a large printer, and then realised all sorts of problems within my photography. Because I have been taking images for the web, they are not manipulable nor as sharp as a professional’s photographs would be. Also I have never really thought of my photographs as art in their own right, any more than I think a page from my sketchbook is. I have seen the camera as a tool and only now am I beginning to think of them as possible art forms – but even then in my mind divorcing the imagery from the tool itself. Now I realise that is not how I really see photography for me, so I don’t want to go down that path.

Light breaks over the horizon

Light breaks over the horizon

So the clouds have gathered in my work, much as the clouds have gathered over Seaford as the end of hurricane Bertha has tromped its way along the coast. With 18 foot waves, and thunderstorms it has taken over a week for Bertha to clear off, and it is taking some time for me to sort out what I am doing both in the painting and the printing.  I have realised that whilst I have taken a large number of nice images, as art they need approaching in a different way, and I am now going to step down that path, into the unknown.

birling 2014-08-09 002

Over the horizon lies the goal. But doesn’t it always?

So now I have taken steps to resolve issues and get back to work. I have taken on the challenge of calibrating the screen and the printer together, in itself and intellectual and technical challenge  (Don’t you hate it when instructions start off with defining colour as electronic colour not light? Hence the nonsense that green is a primary …) I have booked some lessons on how to use my software properly to achieve what I currently create mechanically.

I have also decided the painting will work.

Hesitation is not prevarication. I think therefore I am. The clouds are lifting.