In my last post in November, I wrote of my mental confusion and the twists and turns I was making to find a way forward with my work. Since then, I have done plenty of work with the camera, but the problems remained unresolved. I am beginning to realise that many of the problems stem from my physical health, and so I have started to address these where they are within my control. In a fortnights time I will celebrate my 78th birthday and some of the problems are simply my body wearing out, ageing, but I am beginning to think that the various medications I have been told to take are also part of the problem. I have a sympathetic doctor, but being NHS, access is limited and difficult so I have taken matters into my own hands – much as grandad would have done in the 1930’s and he lived to 83 despite being gassed in WW1.
Just trying not to be overwhelmed
My first task was to change my eating habits – eat less and cut out bread and cakes. I know Christmas is upon us, so I shall not forego Christmas treats, but rein them in. In the meantime, I have shed 10 pounds in weight and have restarted my walking for fitness after the struggles with my spinal stenosis. My doc reckoned I was diabetic after a blood test came back with a high reading, so I have invested in a new continuous blood monitor to check my blood sugars, and discovered just how little information about blood/sugar is shared with us by the NHS. It really is not patient centred is it?
I have found that blood sugar levels vary constantly. I wake with a low reading of anything between 3.3 and 4.2. Breakfast will raise the reading perhaps to 7.2 for an hour or so, and the computer produced a 24hour average of 4.8. Is the device accurate will be the question? For now I am trusting it and will be testing its accuracy when I get my next bleed test in the surgery in 9 January (day before my 78th birthday) and we compare readings of their blood analysis with my CBM. Meantime following a concerned call from a nurse about the possible impact of Metformin, the prescribed anti-diabetes drug, on my remaining kidney I am dumping it, along with statins, just keeping the drugs related to my heart. The immediate result is more mental clarity.
Still life
None of this will truly tackle the main problem which is the arthritis in my hands and spine. Managed to stretch a canvas but with difficulty and pain, as pulling the canvas relies on strength in the thumbs. Arthritis really is weather sensitive too. But if I can build my physical strength as well as recover some mental resilience and clarity, then work can start again. I remember one elderly relation in Torquay who was managing a large sloping garden having bought some cheap plastic garden chairs and positioned one of them at the end of every row of plants so she could rest often whilst gardening. I have added a folding stool to the studio.
Meantime I will continue to enjoy using my cameras on my walks. One old friend suggested it would be interesting to have a show, perhaps called ‘365 days’, of a year’s worth of the morning weather photo (of which I have now taken over 3,000) perhaps with images supplemented by some of my cloud or moon images. I’ve also been wandering around trying to find a suitable local or near local venue to show the works from my ‘Slater walks’, about the decaying pier in Seaford and the collapsing Cuckmere sea defences. I had a show in Gallery UNO which was successful but so many waves have broken over the pier since then and the book for Seaford Museum could be used to generate some publicity and money for them if I can find the right large venue…
An amalgam of images to show a year’s weather in one picture
Now another year comes to an end slowly. The colour and vitality injected into life by Christmas lights and celebrations of Christs birth besmirched by indifference and antagonism from many agnostics and heathens, who seem determined to disrespect belief of anyone but themselves, must not be allowed to stop us enjoying our traditional carol service worship and self-indulgent eating. I know, back on the diet afterwards. But hey, looks like I’ll make it to 78, which after the 2015 cancer diagnosis seemed highly unlikely.
The NHS is stressed mainly because our politicians made no plans for a population increase to our current 80million souls, still working to a 50 million model. So taking care of oneself as I am trying to do more, being less cavalier with risk, assessing which foods are healthy and which not all becomes more important. Just as important is your spiritual being, whether through a religion, or through beauty in art and music the spiritual will enrich your physical experiences much as art has enabled me to deal with the turbulence, of which one correspondent said:
“That’s an incredibly diverse and rich career path, Patrick! From running a design studio to capturing the world through your lens, your journey through art, design, and exploration is truly inspiring. It’s fascinating how you’ve managed to blend your passion for art with professional design, and then ventured into photography. Your life’s work sounds like it’s not just a career but a continuous exploration of creativity and culture”.
The decay of the sea defences continues to throw up fascinating images
Flattering, makes it look deliberate rather than staggering from one crisis to another. Without the spiritual depth I gained from religion and my art training I suspect I might not still be here. I will find my way back into the studio, overcome the current round of difficulties. After all, after divorce, bankruptcy, rebuilding businesses, rebuilding college departments, rebuilding a home and life with my partner, what is a little ageing to worry about?
Just try not to fall over….
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